Your Inner Advocate

Episode 153: You are already Extraordinary: Stop being so hard on Yourself

Episode 153: You are already Extraordinary: Stop being so hard on Yourself
Episode Summary:
This episode is a powerful message for high-achievers and extraordinary people who've relied on self-pressure to reach their goals. Host Kimen Petersen challenges the myth that pressure equals progress, revealing how the strategy that builds discipline isn't the same one that sustains excellence.
You'll learn why extraordinary people don't break from lack of pressure—they drown in it. Kimen explains the hidden costs of constant self-pressure: stolen joy, blocked creativity, impaired recovery, and the inability to celebrate wins. The episode introduces the concept of shifting from your "inner critic" to your "inner advocate"—replacing self-punishment with self-trust.
Key insight: The strongest people aren't those who carry the most weight, but those who know when to put it down. This isn't about lowering standards; it's about changing fuel sources from force to trust, allowing you to perform at the level you were born for.
Timeline Summary:
[0:00-1:00] Introduction - The pressure problem for high-achievers[1:00-2:30] Why you don't need to be so hard on yourself[2:30-5:00] The myth: Pressure equals progress, pain equals growth[5:00-7:30] The difference between building discipline vs. sustaining excellence[7:30-9:00] Understanding stress: The unmotivated vs. the extraordinary[9:00-11:00] The hidden costs of constant self-pressure[11:00-13:00] Recovery is the hard part for extraordinary people[13:00-15:00] Survival mode vs. true performance[15:00-17:00] You've never needed to be pushed—you push yourself too hard[17:00-19:00] Trust as the next level of discipline[19:00-21:00] Shifting from force to trust: The Inner Advocate practice[21:00-23:00] Building your inner advocate to replace your inner critic[23:00-24:40] Final message: You rise by believing in who you already are[24:40-25:08] Outro and podcast information

Episode 152: You're Not Behind: You're Just on a Different Timeline

Episode 152: You're Not Behind: You're Just on a Different Timeline
 
Episode Summary:
This episode challenges the pervasive belief that we're "behind" in life. Kimen explores how social media, cultural milestones, and family expectations create artificial timelines that make us feel inadequate. Through personal stories—including his own journey of returning to school in his 40s after a health crisis—he demonstrates that growth doesn't follow a universal schedule. The episode reframes delays as foundations, setbacks as preparation, and reminds listeners that comparison steals joy. Key message: You're not behind; you're right on time for your unique life path.
Timeline Summary by Minutes:
0:00-1:00 - Opening & invitation to release tension; introducing the fear of being "behind"
1:00-2:00 - Exploring the belief that we're behind where we "should be" and introducing the concept of different timelines
2:00-3:00 - How we learn to feel behind through social media highlight reels and cultural expectations
3:00-4:00 - The invisible struggle behind success; seeing the complete path including setbacks
4:00-5:00 - Challenging cultural milestones (marriage, children, retirement) and personal choices
5:00-6:00 - Family comparisons and cultural pressure; the importance of being your own person
6:00-7:00 - Internalizing external expectations and the myth of missing your window
7:00-8:00 - Athletes breaking age barriers; Canadian marathon record holders in their 40s
8:00-9:00 - Historical context: expectations created when lifespans were shorter haven't caught up with modern reality
9:00-10:00 - The hidden struggles of elite athletes; years of breakdown before breakthrough
10:00-11:00 - Statistics on self-made millionaires and bankruptcy; we only see outcomes, not the process
11:00-12:00 - Strength is built through struggle and resilience, not in winning
12:00-13:00 - Different blooming timelines; comparison as the thief of joy; plant vs. tree metaphor
13:00-14:00 - Personal story: living with undiagnosed dyslexia and feeling "not smart enough"
14:00-15:00 - Health crisis in his 40s leading to a crossroads moment
15:00-16:00 - The power of burning bridges and going back to school despite fears and financial risk
16:00-17:00 - Looking back 14 years later; how everything lined up perfectly in hindsight
17:00-18:00 - "Late does not mean lost"; finding your voice when you're ready to hold it
18:00-19:00 - Timing as preparation, not punishment; becoming the right person for your calling
19:00-20:00 - Reframing setbacks and injuries as peak performance timing adjustments
20:00-21:00 - Practical reframing: changing your narrative and questions you ask yourself
21:00-22:00 - Foundations metaphor; delays as deep preparation for greater possibilities
22:00-23:00 - Practical shifts: stop following what makes you rush; peace over proof
23:00-24:00 - Stop using others' timelines as your deadline; story of painter starting at 87
24:00-25:00 - Speaking to yourself as someone who's becoming; you're right on time for YOUR life
25:00-end - Closing reflections and outro

Episode 151: Stop Forcing, Start Trusting: A New Approach to Personal Growth

Episode 151: Stop Forcing, Start Trusting: A New Approach to Personal Growth
 
In this episode of Your Inner Advocate, Kimen Petersen challenges the Western obsession with discipline and explores why constant self-punishment doesn't lead to lasting change. Drawing from personal struggles with weight, writing, and health, Kimen reveals that the real issue isn't lack of discipline—it's lack of self-trust.
You'll discover why discipline without compassion feels like betrayal, how to build self-trust through small promises, and why your nervous system needs safety before it can offer reliability. This episode offers a gentler, more sustainable path to personal growth: one built on trust, presence, and self-compassion rather than force and shame.
Key takeaway: Discipline follows trust—it doesn't precede it. When you trust yourself to get back up after falling, everything changes.
Episode Timeline (Minutes:Seconds)
[0:00-0:15] Welcome and invitation to take a real breath
[0:15-0:50] The exhaustion of trying to fix yourself with discipline
[0:50-1:09] What if the problem isn't your discipline?
[1:09-2:38] Western culture's worship of discipline and the meditation retreat story
[2:38-3:18] Why do we keep abandoning ourselves?
[3:18-4:03] The 20-year abandoned book project
[4:03-4:44] Personal struggle with health and weight
[4:44-6:00] Running as a practice: Goals, systems, and self-compassion
[6:00-7:28] The weight struggle and avoiding pain vs. achieving pleasure
[7:28-9:13] Self-trust means knowing you'll get back up when you fall
[9:13-10:52] Being stuck vs. being broken
[10:52-11:36] Your nervous system needs safety before reliability
[11:36-13:12] The habit myth and the cigarette quitting story
[13:12-14:41] How to build self-trust: Start with small promises
[14:41-16:32] Change your inner voice and build your inner advocate
[16:32-17:30] Stop trying to control yourself
[17:30-18:24] The hardest people are often the most incredible
[18:24-19:59] Lighten up instead of pushing harder
[19:59-20:46] Tonight's practice: How can I show myself I can be trusted?
[20:46-21:34] Discipline follows trust—it doesn't precede it
[21:34-22:27] Closing thoughts and podcast outro

Episode 150: What if Life Isn't Happening TO You—It's Happening FOR You

Episode 150: What if Life Isn't Happening TO You—It's actually Happening FOR You
In this powerful episode, host Kimen Petersen explores the transformative shift from feeling like life is working against you to understanding that it's working for you. Drawing from personal experiences with imposter syndrome, loneliness, and self-doubt, Kimen reveals how the questions we ask ourselves shape our reality. Learn why feeling stuck often means you're in transition, how your brain's survival wiring can trap you in negative patterns, and discover a practical three-step framework to rewrite your life's narrative: name your story, upgrade your questions, and practice daily perception shifts. This episode offers a compassionate guide for anyone who feels exhausted by trying, stuck despite effort, or convinced they're somehow "behind" in life.

Episode 149 What If Nothing Is Wrong With You?

Episode 149 What If Nothing Is Wrong With You?
In this deeply personal episode, Kimen Petersen challenges a belief many of us carry: that we're fundamentally broken. Drawing from his own experiences with bullying, isolation, and harsh self-criticism, Kimen explores how survival behaviours we developed aren't character flaws—they're adaptations. He shares the powerful realization that he was "fighting on the wrong side" in the war within his head, agreeing with his inner critic instead of advocating for himself. This episode offers a compassionate reframe: you're not lazy, weak, or behind—you're responding to life with the tools you have. Kimen invites listeners to stop asking "What's wrong with me?" and start asking "What happened to me?" Through acceptance rather than resistance, and self-compassion rather than shame, healing becomes possible. The message is clear: you're not meant to be fixed—you're meant to be understood, supported, and loved!!!
Timeline Summary:
[0:00-0:53] Opening question: "What if nothing is wrong with you?"
[0:53-1:38] Podcast introduction and mission statement
[1:38-3:04] The origin of believing we're broken—learned through comparison, criticism, and feeling misunderstood
[3:04-5:25] Personal story: hiding during lunch and recess to avoid bullying; why creating safe spaces matters
[5:25-7:46] Reframing labels (lazy, sensitive, unmotivated) as responses to being overwhelmed without support
[7:46-10:04] The cost of believing you're broken: pushing instead of caring, isolating instead of connecting
[10:04-12:10] The internal war: realizing he was "fighting on the wrong side" by agreeing with his inner critic
[12:10-14:29] What if your reactions make sense? Fear as wisdom, hesitation as intelligence
[14:29-17:30] Reframing hardship: developing strength, empathy, and compassion through challenges
[17:30-20:23] Building an inner advocate: changing your internal dialogue from criticism to support
[20:23-24:30] "Resistance causes persistence" vs. "Acceptance causes disappearance"—the Mother Teresa story
[24:30-26:37] Personal transformation: from "I'm just displacing air" to focusing energy on making a difference
[26:37-28:46] Final message: You're not broken, you're becoming. You're meant to be understood, not fixed
[28:46-25:49] Closing and call to action

Episode 148: Life gets really hard just before you Level up: The Sign You're About to Summit

Episode 148: Life gets really hard just before you Level up: The Sign You're About to Summit
This deeply personal episode explores a powerful truth that most people never learn: life gets hardest right before a breakthrough. Host Kimen Petersen shares their own recent season of doubt—questioning their work, purpose, and whether they started too late—and reveals the transformative realization that changed everything. When resistance intensifies, progress slows, and quitting feels tempting, it's not a sign to stop—it's a signal you're standing at a threshold, about to level up. This episode reframes struggle as preparation, pressure as potential, and hardship as the narrow path before the summit. If you're in a difficult season right now, this is your reminder: don't abandon yourself when it gets hard. Stay gentle, stay consistent, and keep going. You're closer than you think.
Timeline Summary:
Welcome & Opening Invitation (0:02)
The Threshold Concept (1:05)
The Pattern No One Warns You About (2:00)
Misreading the Signals (3:06)
Personal Story: A Season of Doubt (4:22)
The Breakthrough Realization (8:06)
What Hard Seasons Actually Teach (10:27)
Unbecoming Everything You're Not (11:01)
The Armor Visualization (11:59)
The Design of Resistance (13:34)
The Zen Parable of Fine Steel (14:00)
The Choice: Comfort or Transformation (14:56)
Reframing Hard (16:11)
Stop Fighting, Start Enduring (16:52)
Life's Not Fair (Both Ways) (17:10)
Direct Message to Those in It Now (18:39)
You're Closer Than You Think (19:23)
The Moment Everything Changes (20:28)

Episode 147 The Beautiful Grind: Finding Strength in January's Darkness

Episode 147 The Beautiful Grind: Finding Strength in January's Darkness
This episode is a powerful meditation on embracing the grind—the unglamorous 90% of life where real growth happens. Speaking directly to the January slump when motivation fades and goals feel distant, the host reframes the grind not as punishment but as preparation. Through metaphors of trees growing deep roots in winter and athletes training in the cold, the episode explores how consistency, discipline, and showing up when no one's watching builds the foundation for all future success. The host emphasizes that excellence is a habit formed in these quiet moments, that grinding with others reduces perceived difficulty by 30%, and that the real beauty isn't in the outcome but in who you become during the climb. It's an encouraging reminder to find beauty in the process, trust the journey, and keep building even when progress feels invisible.
0:00-1:00 - Opening: Permission to breathe and be present without needing motivation1:00-3:00 - January's challenge: shorter days, darker mornings, distant dreams3:00-5:00 - Reframing the grind as the foundation (90% of everything happens here)5:00-7:00 - The grind is preparation, not punishment; outcomes are brief7:00-9:00 - Consistency over intensity; small disciplines lead to great achievements9:00-11:00 - The perception vs. reality: roots growing deep beneath the surface11:00-13:00 - Personal reflection: training for a May marathon in January's darkness13:00-15:00 - Discipline as family vs. motivation as a guest; building self-trust15:00-17:00 - Looking back to see how far you've come, not how far you have to go17:00-19:00 - Grinding with others reduces perceived difficulty by 30%; shared struggle is sacred19:00-21:00 - The gifts of the grind: resilience, strength, relationships, and self-knowledge21:00-22:00 - Closing thoughts: Life is found in the process, not the outcome; find beauty in the grind

Episode 146: The Courage to Fall: What if Your Worst Case Isn't as bad as you Think

Episode 146: The Courage to Fall: What if Your Worst Case Isn't as bad as you Think
In this powerful episode, Kimen explores the concept of "baseline"—the lowest point you've already survived in your life. Most people fear falling so far they'll never recover, but the truth is, if you're still standing today, you've already survived your worst-case scenario. By understanding your baseline (the floor where you land when things fall apart), you can transform paralyzing fear into calculated courage.
Kimen shares personal insights about recognizing that despite multiple setbacks, he never fell below having food, shelter, and some money. This realization didn't make him reckless—it made him courageous. The episode challenges listeners to identify their own baseline and recognize that the fear of imagined catastrophe often prevents people from taking risks, even though that catastrophic outcome has never actually happened.
The key message: failure doesn't send you into an abyss—it returns you to a familiar, survivable baseline. Once you understand this, you can stop living in fear and start living toward possibilities. Success comes from motion, not perfection, and every failure is simply checking off one more setback on the path to your ultimate goal.
[0:00-1:00] Introduction: The worst-case scenario has probably already happened, and you survived it
[1:00-3:00] Defining baseline: the lowest point you've already survived—your floor when things fall apart
[3:00-5:00] Personal baseline: food, shelter, some money—and never falling below that point despite fears
[5:00-6:30] Baseline as proof of survival, not failure; the foundation that enables courage
[6:30-9:00] Why people don't take risks: fear of losing everything and imagined humiliation
[9:00-11:00] Mark Twain quote: "I've suffered many casualties in my life, most of them never happened"
[11:00-13:00] The power of knowing your landing point: risk becomes calculated, not terrifying
[13:00-15:00] The question shifts from "What if I lose everything?" to "What if I gain something?"
[15:00-17:00] Taking action despite finite setbacks: each failure brings you closer to success
[17:00-19:00] Fear vs. excitement: they feel the same in the body—only the thought process differs
[19:00-21:00] Life rewards motion, not perfection: taking action immediately reduces anxiety
[21:00-23:00] Wayne Gretzky wisdom: courage compounds, confidence grows through evidence and trying
[23:00-24:00] Failure is not the opposite of success—it's the path to success
[24:00-25:00] Viktor Frankl quote: when you can't change the situation, you change yourself
[25:00-27:00] Reframing failure as a step on the path, not the end of the journey
[27:00-29:00] The most successful people have failed more times than most have even tried
[29:00-31:00] Call to action: stop waiting for certainty, permission, or feeling ready—being ready is a decision
[31:00-33:00] Practical advice: you don't have to burn bridges—start your dream while keeping your job
[33:00-34:00] Challenge: take one step today toward your goal
[34:00-35:00] Closing: you already know how to stand at your baseline
[35:00-36:00] Outro and podcast information

Episode 145: Stop Shoulding on Yourself: Why Extraordinary People Don't Need More Pressure

Episode 45: Stop Shoulding on Yourself: Why Extraordinary People Don't Need More Pressure
 
In this episode of Your Inner Advocate, Kimen Petersen challenges the myth that pressure equals progress, especially for extraordinary people who are already far down their path. Drawing from personal stories and powerful insights, Kimen explores why self-imposed pressure is detrimental rather than motivating, and how the nervous system speaks the language of safety, not "should."
Through reflections on sports performance, overcoming dyslexia, and the difference between pressure and presence, Kimen offers a compassionate alternative: trust yourself, lean into your strengths, and remember that you don't grow flowers by yelling at soil. The episode emphasizes that extraordinary people don't fail because they don't try hard enough—they falter when they forget how to simply be. With practical grounding techniques and the wisdom that "you can't give more than you have, but you can give everything you have," this episode is an invitation to lay down the weight and build your inner advocate.
[0:00-0:40] Introduction to Your Inner Advocate podcast and episode theme
[0:40-2:06] Opening reflection: The invitation to rest without pressure or fixing
[2:06-5:51] The "stop shoulding on yourself" concept and why extraordinary people don't need more pressure
[5:51-7:24] Debunking the illusion that pressure equals progress
[7:24-8:29] David Whyte's wisdom: "The antidote to exhaustion is wholeheartedness"
[8:29-12:24] The difference between beginners who need pressure and extraordinary people who need trust
[12:24-15:15] Understanding cortisol, stress, and the sympathetic nervous system in sports and performance
[15:15-18:32] The pressure athletes face and why consistency beats talent
[18:32-23:53] Personal story: Overcoming dyslexia and discovering the power of hard work over giftedness
[23:53-25:48] Pressure vs. presence: Living in the future vs. living in the now
[25:48-28:11] Grounding technique: Pressing feet into the ground to return to the present moment
[28:11-31:17] The wisdom of giving 100% of whatever capacity you have (100% of 30%)
[31:17-24:05] What if the next level requires more compassion, not more discipline?
[24:05-25:09] Final encouragement: You are enough, trust yourself, lay the weight down
[25:09-26:06] Closing and call to action
 

Episode 144: Why Breathe if you know you are going to die: Is Life about the Outcome or the Expierence?

Episode 144: Why Breathe if you know you are going to die: Is Life about the Outcome or the Expierence?
 
In this deeply reflective episode, Kimen explores a profound question sparked by a social media interview: "Why breathe if you know you're going to die?" This simple yet powerful question becomes a lens for examining what life is truly about—not the outcomes we chase, but the full spectrum of human experience we embrace along the way.
Kimen shares personal stories of perfectionism, failed dreams of becoming a monk, career stress, and unexpected love, revealing how every "failure" shaped him into who he was meant to be. He challenges the idea that life is about guaranteed outcomes, arguing instead that life is about courage, vulnerability, and trusting the process. Drawing on wisdom from Buddha, C.S. Lewis, and Wayne Gretzky, Kimen reminds us that growth is guaranteed when we move forward—even when success isn't.
This episode is an invitation to breathe deeply, love courageously, and live fully in each moment, because the experience itself is sacred.
[0:00 - 0:40] Introduction to Your Inner Advocate podcast
[0:40 - 2:15] Opening meditation: "Take a breath with me"—setting the tone for presence and feeling
[2:15 - 3:35] The viral question: "Why breathe if you know you're going to die?"—a moment of pure wisdom
[3:35 - 6:00] Reflecting on life's purpose: Why do we bother with the daily grind if we all die eventually?
[6:00 - 8:30] Kimen's perfectionism: "It will never be perfect, so why even try?"—and how tiny shifts create massive change
[8:30 - 11:00] Is life about the outcome or the experience? The spectrum of being human
[11:00 - 13:30] Love without guarantees: Why falling in love, even briefly, is courageous and transformative
[13:30 - 16:00] Goals as growth tools: Setting impossible lifelong goals to become who you're meant to be
[16:00 - 19:00] Kimen's story: The path to becoming a monk, meeting his future wife, and "failing" into his true calling
[19:00 - 21:00] The hospital moment: How stress and failure led him to his current work helping others
[21:00 - 23:00] Trusting the process: "Your life doesn't get better by chance, it gets better by change"
[23:00 - 25:00] The puzzle and tapestry metaphors: Life can only be understood looking back
[25:00 - 27:00] The full spectrum of life: You can't experience joy without sadness—feeling is freedom
[27:00 - 24:30] Closing message: Keep loving, dreaming, and breathing—the experience is sacred
[24:30 - 25:32] Outro and podcast information